Motivation (or how to keep on the straight and narrow when all you want is chocolate)

Ever since I had my wake up call I have been really keen on finding ways to lose weight whilst eating healthily. This isn’t about having a ‘beach body’ (I have a body and I can take it on the beach already!) and this isn’t about short term weight loss; for me this is about finding a way of eating that improves my health. Unfortunately the fact that I have picked up bad eating habits along the way makes it difficult to undo those habits and reinforce new, healthy ones. In some ways the battle isn’t so much against ‘carbohydrates or sugar, but a battle against my own habits and though patterns and battling against habit is hard.

Up until yesterday I had been able to focus on eating healthily and I felt pretty motivated but yesterday I had a bad day. A couple of things that went wrong and there was a problem with one of the kids; for some people this would have been the cue to open a bottle of wine but for me this was the cue to eat chocolate. I have been really careful about what food I have in the house but my husband had bought me a box of chocolates and my gut reaction was to open the box and eat the lot. However much I put the thought to the back of my mind it kept creeping forward again, with that little voice that says ‘just eat one’. (Although I know for a fact if I have one chocolate I will end up eating far more). I know that a sustainable lifestyle change is about eating a variety of things in moderation but I recognised that this was potentially emotional eating so I grabbed my laptop and tried to find distraction online. Whilst browsing the internet I managed to find some pretty good motivation in a way I wouldn’t have imagined.

I don’t own a full length mirror, and as I’m not photogenic I tend to avoid photos, so I was wondering what I really look like to other people. Whilst browsing the internet I found an amazing site called Model My Diet that lets you see what you look like now and what you will look like at your target weight. I created the below images of where I’m at and where I want to be at eventually.

I can see that I have a long way to go but these images can help me see how worthwhile this weight loss is and how I need to keep going and avoid the urge to fall back into old ways. This was the motivation I needed to put the chocolate away, brush my teeth and have an early night! Ohana 1 Temptation 0

Mental Block (or how to kick start revision)

My daughter is at a major turning point in her life. She has applied to university and is now working towards her A- level exams so that she can get the grades she needs for her first choice uni. Over Easter she has become really nervous about revision and reached a point where she felt she wasn’t learning anything when she tried to study. This led to her feeling increasingly anxious and procrastinating about trying to revise again; She even started saying she might not go to uni as if she couldn’t study for A-levels now how would she manage there. My heart went out to her as I could see how increasingly difficult it was becoming for her so I decided that I needed to help her refocus and look at revision in a different way. These are the steps I took to try to help.

1) Perspective – I explained to my girl that her exams and uni were separate things and that if she didn’t get the grades she needed this year there is always the option of retaking the year and applying again next year. You don’t only get one shot at this.

2) Motivation – I explained that uni is not the only option in life and that there are always on the job training, apprenticeships and OU to consider. I also said that this wasn’t the focus for right now and that she needs to focus on doing the best she can in exams and then she has a couple of months to think about her options and then she can make an informed decision when the results come through.

3) Planning –  I encouraged her to make a concrete study plan. She had been putting off doing this thinking it would take up time when she should be studying but I explained how planning gives you a strong foundation to build on and she bit the bullet and used an online planner to create a schedule.

4) Anxiety – My daughter said that she felt she had already missed the opportunity to study over Easter and that it was now ‘too late’. I showed my daughter just how many weeks are left until her exams and just how many hours of study the schedule said she could get in before then. I also reassured her that we would help by testing her if that would help.

5) Study Space –  Appropriate study space and a place away from distractions is always really important when you are studying and my daughter had been sitting on her bed in her room to study. When her phone has beeped to show a text or incoming notifications from Facebook, Snap chat or Instagram she has been losing focus and getting drawn into social media. My husband and I decided that we needed to rearrange for a few weeks and move a desk and chair into our dining room so that she could study in an organised, designated area. We also encouraged her to download an app called ‘cold  turkey’ that lets you stop all notifications and distractions for a set period of time.

6) Study Aids – I suggested a series of study and revision strategies, such as re-writing out notes in diagrammatical forms, creating revision grids and using index cards to write down terms and pieces of information so that we could test her.

7) Setting her Sights – I decided that in order to de-stress my girl and refocus her attention it would be good to take her for a last day out until after the exams are over. We agreed that it would be good to go over to the university town she has applied for and take a look around the grounds of the university and the town itself. We took the train together, had a leisurely stroll around the shops and had a lovely lunch together followed by a walk around the campus. This time out gave us the opportunity to talk, relax and remember that there are more important things than exams, and for me to remind my girl that I will always love her whatever grades she gets.

If anyone else has any revision tips then I would love to hear them.

Sweet Addiction

I am pretty impressed with myself at the moment as I have managed to keep to my regime of drinking water instead of Pepsi Max. This is literally the only thing I am drinking and I am starting to get into the habit of automatically going to the tap instead of the fridge or juice. I have noticed that cutting the sweet flavour, associated with Pepsi, out of my diet has actually started to alter my palate; I just don’t crave sweet things like I used to. So what else have I changed in my diet and is it working?

Cutting the Pepsi out of my diet made me feel better in myself and I wondered how much of that was to do with cutting out the additives so I decided to ensure that I use fresh produce when cooking, as much as possible. I have always done a lot of cooking, so this wasn’t too much of a lifestyle change in itself, but I have also tended to cheat and use’ bought’ sauces which can contain additives and preservatives. By making my own sauces I realised that I could control what was going into the meal without spending much additional time cooking.

The other plus with cutting out the ‘ready made’ aspect of meals was that I could control how much sugar was in each meal. I hadn’t realised just how much sugar goes into savoury things until I took a long hard look at the label. I knew that cutting sugar out of my diet completely would be unrealistic but I also know that I have a sweet tooth and that sugar is an issue for me. When I started my food diary I realised that sugar is actually an addiction of mine and that when I start nibbling on biscuits or chocolate I find it hard to stop. I know that many diets recommend eating them in moderation but I also know myself and that where chocolate is concerned I really lack willpower. With this in mind I decided that I would still buy the occasional dessert for the family to eat as a treat but that the only desserts I would eat would be fresh fruit. I also decided that as there is no nutritional value in chocolate I had to bite the bullet and give it up. This was a difficult decision for me to make but it is actually easier for me to stop myself taking that first bite rather than stop after one biscuit.

I’m lucky in that my weight gain seems to have more to do with my bad snacking habits rather than portion control so there are some elements of my meals that I have been able to keep the same but I have also replaced unhealthy components with healthier options where possible. For example instead of eating 2 pieces of toast for breakfast I have replaced this with a bowl of porridge. This should keep me fuller for longer and contains more fibre so is a healthier option. I have also replaced white rice and pasta for brown and try to eat very small portions of carbohydrates with larger portions of fresh vegetables.

So how is it going so far? I have a lot of weight to lose so I am only on the first few steps of a long journey but I am pleased to say that in the first 10 days I have managed to lose 7 lbs; that’s half a stone!

The Question of Parties & Gifts…

When my kids were younger I seemed to spend every weekend taking them to their friends’ birthday parties. I remember dressing my daughter in pretty dresses and my son in a smart shirt, buying a gift for the birthday boy or girl and coming home with party bags full of balloons and birthday cake.

10 years down the line, my daughter still seems to have a pretty dress for every party but the kind of parties she attends are worlds apart. I’m lucky in that I don’t have any horror stories about my teens falling through the door drunk after parties.  My daughter prefers to go out for meals with friends for their birthdays and my son is still at the stage where friends have paintballing parties, so if drink and drugs aren’t an issue with teenage parties what causes problems?

When I was a teenager a typical gift you might buy for a friend would be a CD or a record token (I guess that would be an I-tunes voucher these days!). If it was a big birthday like an 18th or 21st (Sweet 16 wasn’t a ‘thing’ back then) or the birthday boy or girl was a close friend then you might spend a bit more but as you had to buy presents out of pocket money or wages from your Saturday job, you were limited as to how much you can spend. These days gifts have gone a bit mad. My daughter recently came home upset as she had bought a friend some quality brand cosmetics and felt that wasn’t an expensive enough gift. I was shocked as I knew the present had cost over £15.00 and that she had paid for the gift from wages from her weekend job. The birthday meal was for a 17 year old so I asked what other guests had brought. Presents included bottles of alcohol, with the most expensive present being a Pandora ring.

The ring in question was worth £40.00 and had been bought by another 17 year old who wasn’t a particularly close friend. It seemed quite an expensive gift to me and when my daughter told me that the guest doesn’t work I wondered how she could afford it. I felt bad for S as she had spent what is a considerable amount of her hard earned cash on a nice quality gift and believed it wasn’t enough. As my daughter goes to a couple of parties a month, many of which are 18ths, she could end up spending over 100.00 in gifts alone, never-mind meals if she followed this lead.  As parents, should we be encouraging this kind of spending?  Is a birthday gift not just a symbol of friendship and is spending time with good friends not the most important thing? I hope when the parties are over all these lovely teens know that the value of their friendship is not and will never be based on the value of the birthday gifts they give.

Water, water everywhere….

Since my recent wake up call I have started implementing life style changes to try and get myself back on track. I decided that making massive changes all at once would just mean that I kept to the plan for a few days and then found it too much to keep up with so my plan is to take one step at a time, let the step bed down and then make the next step. Step one is to exchange the diet soda for water.

I fell into the habit of drinking several cans of Pepsi Max a day during a particularly stressful period at work; I was working long days and by mid-afternoon I could feel myself falling asleep so drinking the diet cola kept me awake and alert. The problem was that what started as a one can a day habit escalated and I soon became used to having several cans a day and I admit that I became dependent on the caffeine to keep me going. When the food diary that I have started to keep showed that  when  drinking soda I was also snacking it didn’t take me long to realise that something had to change. After considering whether I should just try to cut out the snack I decided that it would be far better for me to cut out the soda, as not only is it linked to tooth decay but there is also growing evidence that it is linked to diabetes and neurological problems (due to the artificial sweeteners). I knew that cutting out the caffeine would be tough but I decided that this would be the first step that I need to get back on track.

Rather than go ‘cold turkey’ I decided to cut down a day at a time as I had read that giving up caffeine could lead to withdrawal symptoms and that I may get headaches and feel very tired for several days. I have cut down my intake over several days and replaced the soda with water (although herbal tea may make a good alternative in colder weather). Rather than opting for bottled or flavoured water I am simply replacing it with tap water to save money and to prevent taking in any additives; I believe that the simpler my food intake is then the better I will feel.

I have felt tired but haven’t suffered headaches and as each day goes by the tiredness seems to be alleviating a little. My skin feels and looks better and I am less bloated than I used to be, as well as not having to spend money on ‘my habit’!

The interesting thing is that if you had asked me 6 months ago, whether I would have been able to give up Pepsi or live without caffeine I would have laughed and said no. I think that false belief has held me back from taking this step earlier and I can see now that other false beliefs may be holding me back in other areas of my life. Can I lose this excess weight and improve my health? You bet I can!

Earth Day Recipe

As today is Earth Day I thought it would be a good idea to share a meat free recipe that my family really enjoys.

Spicy Pitta Pepper Pockets for 4

Ingredients

• 4 courgette, sliced into thin strips lengthways
• 2 red pepper, sliced into thin strips
• 4 spring onion finely sliced
• 4 tsp harissa paste
• 3 tsp olive oil
• 8 tbsp houmous
• small garlic clove, crushed
• juice of half a lemon
• 150g fat free Greek yogurt
• 4 large wholemeal pittas

Method

1. Toss the courgette and pepper slices in the harissa and olive oil, and season. Cook for approximately 3 minutes and then put to one side.

2. Mix the houmous and spring onion together and then add the courgette and pepper slices.

3. Mix the garlic, lemon juice and Greek yogurt together

4. Warm the pitta bread under the grill and then cut each one into two halves. Open the 2 halves so that you have 2 pockets.

5. Spoon the courgette and pepper mixture into the bottom of each of the pockets and then serve the Greek yogurt separately so that everyone can add as much as they prefer, as a topping.

Earth Day 2015

Ever since the issue of global warming was publicised in the media I have made a conscious effort to be aware of the impact I have on the environment. I’m nowhere near as conscientious as some people but as a family we recycle glass, aluminium, plastic and paper and we have a water meter fitted to the house. We turn appliances and lights off when we don’t need them and we try not to have the heating on unless we absolutely have to.

People tend to be shocked when they find out that we don’t own a car and when they find out that I do have a licence some tend to make the assumption that I have been banned from driving (Not a point on my licence!). If I do need to drive with work or have to get somewhere inaccessible by public transport then I hire a car but as I live near a mainline train station and bus station it seems silly to pay out for a car when I can get to most places by bus or train anyway!  I know that some people say that global warming ‘isn’t a thing’ and may think that taking an interest in the environment isn’t ‘fashionable’ but I think that there are some issues that, as a society, we ignore and simply bury out heads in the sand. The problem is that by ignoring the pollution of the planet we are causing irreparable damage that our children’s generation will have to live with; do we really want our children to swim in Oceans polluted with debris, untreated sewage and oil? Would we prefer them to live on land affected by nuclear fall out like land surrounding the Chernobyl nuclear plant? Maybe we would prefer them to live in a society which is short of clean drinking water?  The simple fact is that unless each of us makes small changes to our lifestyles then our children may never get to see polar bears or penguins because the icecaps will have melted.

So what can we do as families?

1. Recycle. If you don’t already recycle paper, glass, plastic and aluminium then why not start today? Most local authorities will collect recycling from the house but in more rural areas there are collection points at supermarkets.

2. Donate. Local charity shops are always happy to have donations of clean clothes and household goods that people no longer have use for. My son volunteers at a local hospice shop at the weekend and he has told me of the excellent care that the hospice is able to provide thanks to donations of goods that would otherwise have ended up on landfill sites.

3. Walk. There are journeys that require transport and then there are those journeys that we could really walk. If it is feasible to walk why not make the extra effort to save petrol and use the opportunity to exercise. Think of the carbon footprint you will reduce over time!

4. Meat free days. Production of meat uses a considerable amount of the earth’s resources as grain has to be grown to feed the cattle. By making one day a week a meat free day you are doing your bit to reduce carbon emissions. If you want to learn more then why not look at Paul McCartneys’ Meat Free Monday’s campaign page?

http://www.meatfreemondays.com/

5. Shower.  Rather than take a bath why not use less water and less energy to heat the water by having showers rather than baths?

I know that environmental sustainability is a hot topic in schools and I do my best as a parent to do what I can to teach my children that their actions and those of their peers will define the future of this beautiful planet.

Where do I Start – Food Diary Fun!

Following my wake up call with the nurse I started work on my food diary straight away. I am fond of spread-sheets and online diaries but I decided that, for me, the most practical way of keeping a note of my eating habits was the old fashioned way, with pen and notebook. The conversation with the nurse showed that I had gradually gained a lot of weight so I decided that the notebook needed to highlight the eating patterns behind the weight gain.

I suspected that some of my extra calories were coming from picking at food when bored and comfort eating when stressed. I looked online to see what kind of headings would be helpful for my notebook to reflect what was driving the weight gain and decided on the following;

Time

What I ate

Where I ate it

BH or MH (Body hunger or mouth hunger)

The BH or MH heading helps to identify what is driving your eating; Body Hunger is when you eat because you are physically hungry and feel the hunger from your stomach and Mouth Hunger is when you feel your mouth salivating or craving the urge to chew; the two don’t necessarily happen together.

So what have I discovered so far? I can see that when I sit down to meals at the table I eat reasonable portions but I need to increase the amount of fresh fruit and vegetables in my diet. It would also be helpful if I increased the amount of fibre I’m eating so that I feel fuller for longer. I tend to snack when I am in the kitchen, either preparing a meal or ‘just stopping by’ for a snack! I definitely snack when I am bored or emotional and I am actually quite shocked by how much I was snacking without really realising it. I can also see that my caffeine intake is quite high and I tend to couple snacking with having a drink (oh the irony of eating a packet of crisps with a diet soda!)

Where do I go from here? Rather than just ‘guesstimating’ how much weight I need to lose and how many calories I need to eat a day to achieve that weight loss I have used the NHS BMI too.

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/weight-loss-guide/Pages/set-your-target-weight

Now that I know how many calories I can eat each day in order to lose weight I am going to create menu plans and incorporate some of the healthy changes I am going to make to my eating, into family meals too. If that is step 2 then I guess step 3 will involve exercise; watch this space!

Wake Up Call

I am what is generally known as a ‘grafter’. I’m always prepared to give 100% at everything I do and in supporting my family in all that they do too. Although I don’t have the school assemblies and nativity plays to attend now these were quickly replaced by options evenings and a variety of after school activities, once my kids reached high school. Whilst in the midst of juggling work,  responsibilities in the home, church or other religious responsibilities, and supporting your kids you soon lose sight of your own needs. What I have been turning a blind eye to, for the past few years, is that I’m no longer 20 something and that although age shouldn’t stop you doing things you sometimes you have to take a bit more care of yourself.

My wake up call came in the form of a doctor’s appointment that I had been ducking for a while. The original request for me to make an appointment came nearly 12 months ago, when I reached a big birthday but, as per usual, I couldn’t fit the appointment in around work and family commitments. After a couple of reminders I eventually got round to making an appointment and saw the practice nurse for a variety of tests.

First wake up call – I no longer weigh the same as I did when I was 20.

I do possess a set of scales at home but they live in the bathroom and when there is a scrum for the bathroom most mornings I never seem to have time to jump on…plus maybe I don’t want to see what all those biscuits add up to in body weight! The nurse showed me that not only was I overweight but I was considerably overweight; additionally the way that my body carries weight, around my tummy area, means that I am at a higher risk of diabetes and heart disease.

Second wake up call – I don’t eat as well as I think I do.

After the shock of seeing my weight on the scales the nurse asked me about my eating habits. At first I said I couldn’t see how I had gained so much weight so the nurse asked me to list what I would generally eat in one day. As I started listing things I was shocked to see how much I do snack on and how those calories stack up. She challenged me to get a notebook and keep a food diary for a couple of weeks then I could see where my weaknesses are; feeling quite ashamed, I agreed.

Third wake up call – I don’t exercise as much as I think I do.

I walk everywhere, as well as owning an exercise bike (well isn’t owning an exercise bike as good as using one?) so I thought I was reasonably fit. The nurse explained that there wasn’t enough cardio exercise going on and that I needed to make time to exercise. At this point I began explaining that I just don’t have time to exercise; I have a house to clean, kids to help, work to do! This is when she gave me the biggest wake up call:

Fourth wake up call – If I’m ill I can’t do everything anyway!

We discussed family history and health and I explained that on my mother’s side there is a strong history of heart disease and on my father’s side there is a strong history of diabetes and cancer. The nurse put it to me straight: I have a higher than average risk of getting ill and if I get ill then I won’t be working or looking after the house or kids. I can do nothing and the likelihood is that I will get type 2 diabetes, at the very least or I can do something and choose a healthier lifestyle, allowing me to be there for my family in the future.

I’m glad I took the time to go as I now know what I have to do to be here for my family in the future!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Teaser 2

I’m not saying that my family resemble the cast of the Big Bang Theory but I have to say that some of our conversations sound like we are reading off the script! My husband has an impressive collection of memorabilia from the original films including film posters and photographs signed by the original cast members and his general knowledge of Star Wars facts rivals Sheldon Cooper’s!   My husband has met Kenny Baker (R2-D2), David Prowse (Darth Vader) and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) and knows chunks of script verbatim so you can imagine how excited we were last night when the latest teaser for the new Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, was released.

We were all excited to hear Harrison Ford say that iconic line ‘Chewie, we’re home’

The kids have had some serious conversations about how moving to the Disney franchise will impact the new film and overall the family consensus is that it does seem odd to think that the Disney castle will appear at the start of a Star Wars movie but  the teaser has put our mind at rest a little, with glimpses of original cast members and excellent voice over.

The big question is, how will we make it through to December, when the film is released? Can’t wait to take the teens for our traditional boxing day outing!